About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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