I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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