hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
