ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize