Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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