The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
