did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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