Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I party with great urgency now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
