I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
