Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
