Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
