Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
