How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
