I looked at my own cervix.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
