Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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