After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
