naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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