she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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