I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
where are you?
Hypothermia
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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