I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
