she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
