Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
