honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
