How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dick very happy bro
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
