Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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