did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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