If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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