i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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