For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
