sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
