I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found puke in my bra..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
