And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
