Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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