DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
