New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
