I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
