I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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