Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
