you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize