you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize