Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize