Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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