I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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