I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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