Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
