nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
