Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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