peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
