You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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