The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
