and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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