he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
