this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
