I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
