She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
what day is it and did you see me today?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
