I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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