He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize