He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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