Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is my gift to your gina
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
